nakedsingularity | deerlybeloved (deerington)

deerlybeloved (deerington)

deerlyBeloved: @ wildstyle

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And probably not in the fun way.

( Henry | 17 | F | It's the age of experimentation )

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WHAT THE FUCK why do you get an awesome profile
i'm writing a letter of complaint

You can have it if you want.

_{[She couldn't hate this more if she tried, and boy, she's trying.]}

would if i could but i can't figure out how to edit this fucker and get it to stick

You and me both.

Don't push strange buttons. Lesson learned.

[ Guess who only just now discovered deerlyBeloved.... and who is currently a mixture of Shocked and Amused. And a little bit Terrified.

But not terrified enough to refrain from teasing his grouchy little housemate. ]

This is a good look for you

Edited 2020-03-08 03:32 (UTC)

_{[She almost managed to forget this existed so thanks for that.]}

Can you guess what my response is going to be?

_{[NO, REALLY. GUESS.]}

🖕

That is honestly so rude
I was just trying to admire your hat
And your.... pinwheel

It's a nice pinwheel

Remember when you used to be too terrified of me and everything else around you to be funny? I miss that.

I still have my moments of terror

But back to the photo
Can I ask for that hat in my blessings basket and give it to you for Christmas?

_{[Would it be mean to say I feel the same way about you? Probably. Probably, yes. Their relationship works as well as it does because there's a great many things they don't, and haven't, talked about. Why ruin a good thing by poking that hornet nest?]}

How about not back to the photo. And no.

[ Peter's reached a point he can actually joke around like a Normal Teen from time to time, but he's still... careful. Always careful, with everything.

And he knows not to push stuff. He wouldn't want to be pushed. So the teasing slips away at once. ]

Mine's weird as fuck too
I thought nothing could creep me out more than the non-consensual tattoo taking over my whole entire stomach
But this deerlyBeloved thing takes the cake, I think

_{[It's not that big of a deal, and she doesn't really mind that much when she could just as easily ignore his messages, but she does enjoy keeping people on their conversational toes in her own terrorizing way.

Also, like. It's just an all-round embarrassing photo, so let's just ignore it, hey.]}

Yeah, I kind of noticed that, but I didn't want to be the first to say anything.

Though the profile you did fill out for that stupid staggr app might be worse.

[ He's not entirely oblivious and zombified to the point he's thinking nobody's noticed his profile, either. Especially now that he's brought it up — the natural thing for someone else to do would be to go check his out, too. What's on there is definitely... fucking terrifying and worrisome and has given him a fresh wave of nightmares. ...But he's not having instant panic attacks over it. That's something, right? ]

Oh, I actually updated the staggr one a couple days ago. I put your name on there instead of our address

Figured that'd be more helpful. Most people around town know you, right?

[ At least he thinks that's the case. He's bumped into quite a few people who are familiar with Henry Coles. Maybe because she's been here longer, or because she's made a reputation for herself through terrorising people. Either way, she's who people need to know to deliver him to. ]

_{[After a brief intermission to go and check:]}

I'm stitched onto your underwear tag now?

_{[That's a frightening thought, on both counts. Why in Christ's name would anyone in this town know her aside from, like, Chloe and Laura........................ Being known is trouble.]}

Only the worst of the dipshits seem to know where I live so let's hope it never comes up.

Oh yeah, I took my panties over to the sewing shop and had them do it

[ Sarcasm, the universal teen language.... ]

Well I figured I shouldn't leave our address up there for the world to see
Who knows what kind of creeps might come knocking, trying to steal our stuff

[ Nobody wants your stuff.... ]

I guess the safest thing to do is for me to try not to get lost again
So no dipshits have to be involved

You're awfully funny today.

_{[To be quite honest, she likes the sound of intruder-proofing and she's a little impressed he had the foresight to think of it. It pays to share a house with someone as twitchy around people as her.

Their crappy TV and game consoles? No, those maybe aren't worth much, but when the cannibals roll out or the town decides it wants to starve them out again, their lives and their cheerios are worth protecting.]}

I like the last option. Let's go with that one. You not wandering off would be an improvement.

I have my moments
They're rare and unusual but they're there

[ That's... a good point, re: cannibals and whatever other assortment of Spooky Shit might lead Sleepers to infiltrate a nice-sized house out by the river. Especially since they're two teenagers living all on their own. (Though of course..... they're not exactly two average teenagers. And if the wrong person broke in and spooked either of them, it could very well end up bad for that person. Maybe some body parts ripped off and/or mauled by a teleporter and/or demon.) ]

I'm honestly surprised you haven't just locked me in a closet by this point
Or in the basement. Slipping me food every day like I'm an experiment gone wrong that you keep hidden down there

I hardly recognize you out of your shell.

_{[She's proud--really, she is, in her catty, Henry way. Days like these make it seem possible Humpty Dumpty is pulling himself back together... even if his social media profiles are still sad and weird.]}

I've thought about it. But I don't know if they sell puppy pee pads in this decade.

It's not pretty
Like some slimy sea creature after you shell it

[ Peter....... ]

I would say we can go check at the pet store and buy me some cool stuff
But it looks terrifying and I've never been inside

"Like some"? With how many bodily fluids you ooze I think we can skip the simile.

_{[She'll make it worse, she's in your corner that way.]}

What, you're not a fan of Hoppy the killer mascot?

Edited 2020-09-01 03:04 (UTC)

[ Oh yeah, she definitely made that so much worse. But— ]

That's fair
I am very oozey

[ At least he's self-aware about his oozing bodily fluids, okay. ]

It has a name? Great
Yeah I'm never going in that place
Though I meant to tell you, someone helped me break into the bowling alley one night
And it was actually pretty chill in there
You ever been?

Add that to your profile. Talents: slobber.

Oh yeah "someone"? Who's "someone"? _{[Share with the class, Peter. How many petty criminals who aren't her are you hanging out with these days?]} Yeah, I've been. This town's not that big.

Hey now
If I add that, I'll get too popular and people'll want to come over all the time

Her name was Claire? She kind of reminded me of you
Small and criminal
She had a lockpick just like
in her pocket
Ready to use at any time

You're right, how could I forget drool, cheeto dust, and forgetting to put on deodorant are what most girls are into. Must be a west coast thing.

_{[Small and criminal. Are these the selling points she should be putting on her bios?

Too bad she's not cool enough to know how to pick locks.]}

And this b&e expert took you to a bowling alley?

I resent that
I'm not saying it isn't true, but I resent it

[ She's such! A little shit! ]

Oh
I was kind of already there
Trying to get in
She spotted me and helped me

I guess now I'm a criminal too
Deerington's Most Wanted

You asked for it, I just delivered.

Is there a reason YOU were trying to get in there?

_{[And here she thought you were normal and boring when not going feral or catatonic.]}

I was walking around one night, just needed to clear my head
Thought it'd be cool to hang out there for awhile

I'd heard through the grapevine it was safe inside

[ Because, you know. In this place, breaking and entering into random buildings could mean running into some horrible monster that haunts the place after-hours or something. ]

_{[Sounds vaguely familiar. No judgement.]}

And was it everything you'd dreamed of?

Smelled like unvaccumed carpet and hot dogs
I was not disappointed

If there was romantic mood lighting in this story, I don't need to know.

Not that I wouldn't be happy for you, but you said she reminded you of me. That'd be kind of weird.

Not to worry
No romantic mood lighting was involved

Unless you count a couple of really bad neon signs that were left on
But I'm pretty sure that would be an instant mood killer instead of the opposite

Bowling alleys kind of do that by themselves.

But it's good to know you didn't get your hand torn off by a haunted pinsetter.

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