[Hold on, let's pause this guilt train for a sec.]
You CAUTERIZED it? You know what that word means in English? Cauterized, as in you burned it closed?
[Ew, ew, ew, oh my god, why....... She has to remind herself Laura doesn't see things the way she sees them, doesn't have the context or the understanding for it.]
[She wasn't going to ask, she really wasn't, but that was before cauterization entered the conversation. Lock that shit down, Henry, that sounded an awful lot like a mom voice.]
Forget it. If he didn't want to go to the hospital, that's his deal. All that matter is you're okay and you did what you could.
Is he going to be a problem?
[This nebulous "he" is the victim on paper, but so was Clay once upon a time. Knowing what she can do, he'd ruin her if he had a chance. She's cynical enough to fear the same now.]
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You CAUTERIZED it? You know what that word means in English? Cauterized, as in you burned it closed?
[Ew, ew, ew, oh my god, why....... She has to remind herself Laura doesn't see things the way she sees them, doesn't have the context or the understanding for it.]
Not if they didn't want to go.
[But still. This is some Die Hard shit.]
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I did not want him to have to.
It was important for me to do it, anyway.
I hurt him already. But then I could hurt him to fix him.
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[She wasn't going to ask, she really wasn't, but that was before cauterization entered the conversation. Lock that shit down, Henry, that sounded an awful lot like a mom voice.]
Forget it. If he didn't want to go to the hospital, that's his deal. All that matter is you're okay and you did what you could.
Is he going to be a problem?
[This nebulous "he" is the victim on paper, but so was Clay once upon a time. Knowing what she can do, he'd ruin her if he had a chance. She's cynical enough to fear the same now.]
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No, I don't think he is.
If anything, I think I might be.
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[End of story.]
So what, you're going to go live on a roof because you're afraid you're going to hurt someone in your sleep? Not much of a plan.
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He did not seem to care like I was worried he would.
I'm not sure what my plan is. I have not had to have many, in my life.
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Not hurting yourself is a start. Like on the roof. Tell me you won't do that.
And maybe don't stick your claws in open flames, either.
[Cauterizing stab wounds. Jesus.]
cw talk of self-harm jic
But I can promise that I will try to be better.
I am trying to be.
I mostly hurt myself when I am angry.
I've been trying to be less angry.
child, pls
[But--]
I know you're trying. I probably don't say this enough, but you're doing good. Better than you were.
Tonight doesn't change that.
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... But I know what you are saying.
I would like
to continue to try and do better.
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Yeah, except you also seem to treat yourself like a wall at times.
You can. It just takes time, I guess. [Time she'd be a hypocrite not to give Laura right now.] Should I bother waiting up for you?
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I will appear again. When it's... easier to handle, in my head. I promise.
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[Wrong superhero franchise, but the brooding temperament? Got that down pat. Not that she's one to deny someone their personal space.]
While you're busy trying, try not to fall asleep in a tree or whatever. I don't need anyone thinking I kicked you on the streets.
[That is to say, there's still a Laura-sized bed with her name on it when she's ready.]