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He was supposed to solve the "deviant problem." They just didn't count on how much stronger he could be than all the shit they programmed into him.

[ There's more to this story, it just isn't hers to tell, and that's still the important thing to her, that whatever Cyberlife thinks, whatever Connor thinks, for that matter, there's a spark in him so bright it can't be put out by all the code in the world. ]

Sometimes--most of the time--I don't understand any of you. You have so many choices but you let so many things stop you from making them.

Edited 2018-09-06 15:20 (UTC)

He must really be important to you.

_{[You're waxing a little poetic there, North.]}

No one said being born with an umbilical cord meant people have their shit together. Everybody's got something.

[ Wow shut up. Alternately just wait til Markus "the hope of our people" McJesus gets here, and then you'll see poetic. ]

He saved my life.

[ This with the textual equivalent of a shrug: water is wet, gravity makes things fall, North cares about Connor. ]

No, no one said that. Especially not me. Having choices doesn't mean making the right ones, it just means that. Having them. And don't tell me it's not that simple; sometimes it is exactly that simple. I can start quoting voter turnout statistics if I have to.

That said. It took me more than three years to realize I couldn't live that life anymore. Maybe your mom's boyfriend's daughter just isn't there yet.

Edited (will i ever format correctly the first time ...no probably not) 2018-09-07 06:33 (UTC)

Even though you realized you could think for yourself, and he was supposed to stop you?

_{[See, she pays attention. She may have also seen this movie a half dozen times, by different names...

There's really no arguing with someone in North's position, though. Henry's watched the kind of struggles and oppression North's faced on a television screen for entertainment value, with the luxury of putting it out of her mind once the credits roll. She's not so blind she can't recognize her own privilege. Even the awful thing they share in common was a passing three minutes to North's three years. She hasn't suffered nearly the same.]}

Yeah, maybe. _{[She keeps Jenna's name out of it--it's not important, and it hurts to talk about home, besides.]} You remember it all? Is that how it works?

I don't know. Our memories were wiped every two hours, to protect the customers. Don't want anybody's wife to find out they've been fucking a machine in their off hours, you know?

[ Is it possible to communicate an impossible amount of bitterness and exhaustion over text? ]

But pieces come back. And then more pieces, and...I don't know. I don't remember names, but I remember faces. And things they wanted. I don't think there's any way to know if I remember it all. Maybe if I could it wouldn't have taken so long to just say enough.

[ BUT RIGHT, CONNOR, what a much better subject. ]

He was supposed to stop the deviant leader. Markus. Cyberlife thought without him we would fall apart, and maybe we would have.

[ She is definitely not going to spend an hour talking about how Markus changed everything, how he gave them hope and something to trust, because they'd just be here all day. This feels like verging on too private as it is, and as Henry has also observed, it hurts. Markus was the only person, the only anything to burn away some of the fear-anger-hatred in her and leave safety in its place, and he's not here. ]

I don't know what Markus said to him, but whatever it was, it worked. When he joined us...listen. I would have done anything to free us. Anything. Markus has different ways of doing things, and they worked, so who am I to complain?

[ She did complain most of the game though. Or, you know, strongly disagreed for good reason. ]

Connor was the first one of us I could see myself in. He would have done anything, too. Whatever it took.

Edited 2018-09-08 02:00 (UTC)

_{[Yes. Yes, it is possible.

Now this would be where Jenna's strengths showed through. As if to make up for bottling up what she wants for herself, her (sort of) half-sister is unparalleled in drowning others with kindness and understanding words. Henry's not like that--it always seems like the most important times are when she has the hardest time finding words. And what do you really say to an ex-sex doll? Nothing. Nothing erases that violation.]}

Maybe it's better you don't.

_{[Remember with picture perfect clarity. Those first few seconds of blissful amnesia between waking up and reality setting in are everything to her--perhaps North has her own equivalent, or can find one.

Cyberlife. Skynet. Markus. The John Connor of android kind. Right, she's following.]}

I saw him chase this woman and kid onto a highway. Connor.

_{[So yes, she supposes she can believe he'd do whatever it takes, no matter what side he's on. Coming from North, that trait doesn't seem so intimidating. Maybe it's because she hasn't seen the business end of it in action yet.]}

Edited (WHY DO I KEEP ADDING AFTER I POST........) 2018-09-08 05:10 (UTC)

[ North has only very recently learned what a comfort sleep can be, for that reason. But then even that is complicated; she does all her sleeping with Connor, so it's less that she wakes up without remembering, more that she wakes up without remembering and feels safe, for just that moment. ]

I know.

[ Well--she knows that happened, she doesn't know much about the memory share itself; they haven't talked much about those besides the ones they had together. That was brutal enough. ]

I could tell you he was doing what he was programmed to do, or that he thought he was doing the right thing, but what does any of that matter? It's nobody's responsibility to forgive him because he feels bad about it. So I don't. I just expect him to do better.

_{[Watch the bedroom talk, there are children reading this.]}

You could've blown my head off in the dark and you didn't. He could have worse role models.

_{[Ultimately, it's like North says--it's not her job to condemn, or absolve, or have expectations--but the fact remains that blackout had laid things bare in more ways than one. It hadn't been a comfortable experience for anyone.]}

I noticed he didn't say anything about an accomplice while he was busy knocking over the pharmacy. You weren't in the getaway car?

He doesn’t need a role model. He just needs time.

Besides, I only have one extra clip, and blowing your head off would have wasted a bullet. You weren't hurting me.

Well. Bullshit sci-fi expectations about androids aside.

[ Still a joke, haha, whimpered North's player after editing this to include even more words, rather than merely fix the world's fuckiest formatting. Also, stratospherically high praise. A human??? In North's "not hurting me" plane of existence????? It's somehow more likely than you think. Which is to say, at all. ]

No, that was one fun time you couldn’t have paid me to go near. You haven’t gotten one of those shots, have you?

So that was his idea. Are you sure he doesn't need a role model?

You could just ask him to steal some more ammo. Seems like he's on a roll.

_{[HILARIOUS, says the girl who turned the last person who tried to shoot her into pink mist in her dining room.]}

Let a bunch of people with cartoon-colored hair stick me with a giant cartoon-sized needle? Yeah, definitely, I went the first chance I could.

He says "only if it's important," so that's a no go for today.

[ In case Henry was wondering about this, yes, they are literally in the same room. On the same couch. North's lap is a pillow so she can read Connor his texts and type his replies. It is disgustingly domestic, although it would probably be cuter if he weren't like ...mostly blind via horrifyingly traumatic blood. ]

This is why I don't ask after your wellbeing.

[ Ah, they have reached the shit giving stage of the relationship. Or. Well, the stage where doing that isn't mean spirited. ]

Edited 2018-09-11 05:16 (UTC)

Shooting me doesn't rank as important? Speaking as a dirty human, I don't know if I should be a little insulted by that or not.

_{["Because I can take care of myself" is the default answer, but it does nothing to account for why North would feel compelled to exercise her free will and turn it on Henry in a show of asking after her. Having one awful thing in common doesn't mean anything. It just means they have an awful thing in common.]}

You don't have to. _{[Ask. Worry. Whatever's happening here.]} Sounds like your friend took care of whatever shady shit was going on, so nothing to worry about.

_{[Can you just feel her trying to put a nonchalant spin on this?]}

Edited 2018-09-17 06:24 (UTC)

Don't be offended. It's just that you're all squishy and fragile, so there are easier ways.

[ ....I. Don't know. Is bantering about this horrifying? Is it a special connection made of extremely dark humor? It sure is a thing, that's for sure./ ]

You're right. I don't. The point of me is that I don't have to do anything. If you're not going to get it that's all I need to hear.

[ She'll allow the nonchalance, mostly because she not so long ago literally fled a scene to avoid having to confront someone caring about her. ]

If my ticket's getting punched during the android uprising, I'd prefer you over him. I don't want to spend my last moments explaining sarcasm.

Okay. Well, I'm not.

The android uprising already happened, so you're probably safe.

[ Probably! She's soooo much less likely to be a recipient of ticket punching than like, a lot of people. ]

Good. So do we awkwardly extricate ourselves from this conversation now?

_{[Oh great, this is a movie. And she missed it in theaters? She'll have to catch the DVD.]}

Was that before or after you became... whatever you call it? Human?

_{[Sentient? Conscious? She's not down with the cool kids' lingo.]}

You said it, you can do whatever you want. _{[i.e. she's not inconvenienced by or attached to this little tête-à-tête, proceed as desired.]} Consider my wrist slapped.

[ Right, because stories about teleporters a/o mysterious organizations chasing down people with strange abilities are so uncommon. ]

No. No android calls it "human." Would you jump at the chance to start calling yourself what your oppressors do the moment you were free?

Maybe I would, if it was something I deserved and they were keeping it from me for bullshit reasons. Like voting rights.

I don't think "human" needs to come with air quotes if we're talking about thinking and feeling and all that. But we haven't had any non-human uprisings in New York lately, so what do I know.

The word you're looking for is person. Not human.
That's what they keep from us, the rights all people should have.

I thought maybe it could be different here, but you're all the same, aren't you? If you're not human you're nothing. If you want to be considered a person you have to resign yourself to this label that isn't what you are. Letting them call us "human" is just saying "be like us." And we shouldn't have to be.

The same as in ignorant about things some of the time and having no fucking idea what we're doing most of the time? Then yeah, humans have that going for them.

Be whatever you want to be, I'm not stopping you. And I'm not saying buy a membership like that's a good thing. I've been around us longer than you have, I know it's not. I meant humanity. It's got "human" in it, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't make it just a human thing.

I mean, you don't have to have humanity, either, but it seems like you do. Or whatever term you prefer.

My partner thinks you can learn, if someone shows you. I'm not so sure. And I don't need your fucking permission to be anything.

[ Which. Probably isn't how Henry meant that, but North is not about to give an inch as far as sympathy goes. That's Markus' thing. ]

I prefer any term that doesn't have human in it. It doesn't mean the same thing to me that it does to you. It's not normal. It's cruel and stupid and doesn't care who it hurts. I don't want to be that.

_{[They should've done the awkward extrication when they had the chance before they hit the "splitting hairs over semantics" segment of today's episode of Differing Species Do the Darndest Things.]}

Fine by me. I wasn't arguing with you.

Pretty sure we're trying to say the same thing and it's not working out that way, so this is me backing off. Sorry I brought it up.

_{[Note to self: the human condition, not a great conversation starter.]}

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